So a kid stumbles into a bar one night...

...and it's no joke! I guess while we are on the subject of injuries and emergencies, I'll tell the little story of how N surprised me on my birthday.


It was a very uneventful birthday, which is a good thing given it's the last one I'll acknowledge. We were winding down the evening and the boys were getting snacks before heading off to bed. The way their ginormous appetite works in combination with their supreme dislike for anything related to bedtime, we usually start the process three or so hours before they really do have to be in bed.


N is nearly full after about two hours, so we're doing great so far. He spills some water on the floor and promptly forgets about it. Being the wild child that he is famous for, he be-bops and dances around and slips. His head hits the counter in the kitchen, squarely centering his ear on the edge. OUCH! One look at it and no doubt we're in for stitches.


Now, as luck would have it, we have a nice new after hours clinic open a couple of minutes from the house. And as more luck would have it, we are less than two weeks into the provider change in our insurance that allows us to use the clinic. We're good. So N and I head out. Getting in to see the doctor was fairly quick. He walks in and sweetly asks N what happened. N says "I fell and my head hit the bar." Long pause. Followed by really strange look. "What bar are you talking about?" N looks confused. "The one in the kitchen" he finally gets out. I step in to explain he fell against the edge of the serving bar in our kitchen.


The doctor seems to accept the story. He looks closely at N and asks where the cut and bruise across the bridge of his nose came from. N calmly replies "Oh, that happened last night...I stumbled and fell into the bar stool." Another long pause. The doctor muttered he'll be right back, or something that sounded remotely similar. If I had opened my ears enough to really hear him, the hysterical laughter I held so delicately inside would surely escape from them. Surprisingly when he returned he only brought a nurse. At least that's what she claimed to be, but sometimes I still wonder if CPS officers go undercover as medical personnel.


He sewed up the ear, N stayed very still and quiet, and I took advantage of the opportunity of having a captive audience. I mentioned no less than three times and probably closer to a hundred how I was so glad this was our first stitching but with three boys I felt sure we'd be seeing him from time to time. I hope he bought it.

Little did I know then he'd be the doctor who forwarded us from the clinic to the ER with M. We were nowhere near the bar, doc. I promise!